Ooh La La

After the excitement of Churchill, we had time to settle down with another 2 nights and 1 day on the train to Toronto. Our fellow travellers included 2 drunken 20-something Aussie blokes who pontificated on anything and everything, contrasted by 2 bonneted Mennonite women, and 1 visually impaired chap who exited the train holding a bike helmet which would have been interesting…..

As country cousins in the Big Smoke we channelled our inner “Old Fogey” as we marvelled at the “young people” and asked why everyone under 30 needs a tattoo. Especially those Chinese characters which they think mean something wonderfully spiritual but actually say “kick me, I’m an idiot” or similar.   We timed our visit with the start of “Buskerfest” so there were some great street performances to enjoy and excellent people-watching opportunities.  We did the obligatory trip to the top of the CN Tower, which was the world’s tallest building until some Dubai upstart built something slightly taller. Mike bravely stood on the glass floor overlooking a very long drop.

Toronto skyline

aaaaarrrhhhhh

This woman was telling the chef that she is a vegetarian!

Jim's local

We took a day tour to Niagara Falls, which are very impressive but very over-developed with huge hotels and casinos towering overhead. This is not a new concern –over-development was noted back in the 1800’s. We did the historic “Maid of the Mist” boat trip to the base of the falls. I think our boat was an 1846 original going by the amount of rust in evidence. When you get close to the falls, you can’t see anything but you certainly experience them in all their wetness!   

A maid in the mist

Then on to Paris Quebec City. Well of course we knew that Quebec is a French Province but we didn’t fully expect that it would look so European (derrrr!) We stayed in a gorgeous old hotel just below the walls of the Old City – Quebec City being the only walled city in North America.  We decided that whatever the official version, Quebec actually means “yet another steep flight of stairs” as we certainly got a workout during our stay as we wandered around this fantastic place. There’s something about a medieval wall that makes us want to re-enact the French Castle Scene from “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” – shouting “Go away, we’ve already got one, eets very nice” from the ramparts. (If you haven’t the foggiest idea what we are talking about, try You-Tubing it.)

Just remind me that I'm in North America

We went to the Military Tattoo at the Pepsi Coliseum (I like to call it the Pepsi Cola – seum) which was an extravaganza of international military bands including the serious and well organised Germans, the cheeky Chileans and Russian Red Army 3 Tenors with HUGE voices. The French Alpinists (announced as being from the “Motherland of France”, British Commonwealth be damned!) were a zany bunch (with a repertoire including a Lady Gaga song) whose uniforms convinced us to call them the “Regimental Pastry Cooks Piping Band”. Most of the commentary was in French, with occasional English when they could be bothered. We tried to work out the translations but because we don’t speak any French we perhaps got some things wrong. For example, we’re not sure why they were talking about Clint Eastwood’s son’s 15^th birthday party where love songs were performed but you know, these crazy French….

Regimental Pastry Cooks Piping Band - they certainly weren't half-baked, or loafing around.
This is what they do for a crust, although they don't make a lot of dough.

In keeping with all things ‘Militaire’ we visited the Citadel for the Changing of the Guard ceremony. The 22^nd Regiment is the only exclusively French speaking regiment in the Canadian forces, and it was a little weird to have blokes in British uniform (red coats and bearskin hats) obeying commands  in French. The star of the show was Batisse the 10^th, Regimental Goat. Yes, that’s correct, a goat. The original Batisse was a gift from the Shah of Persia to Queen Victoria who, in a classical example of ‘on giving’, passed it on to Canada.  Splendid when One can give unwanted things to the Colonies  - We are amused. Batisse, under the command of the Goat Major, didn’t do very much except chew. And here’s a picture……

Sorry, wrong one

Cirque de Soleil performs a free concert 5 nights a week, so we joined the 1 km long queue in a vain attempt to get in. Just as we got to the entrance, they closed it because the arena was full. We managed to find a small hill overlooking the arena, crowded with lots of people with the same idea, so we perched precariously to get a view. Sure they were acrobatic on stage, but you would have marvelled at the manoeuvres we were performing to keep our balance and watch the show. But of course being Cirque de Soleil the show was absolutely amazing and spectacular.

We hired bikes and rode out to Montmorency Falls, which are 1.5 times the height of Niagara but not as extensive, or quite so over-developed. They can be viewed by cable car or by walking up 489 steps – there’s that Stairmaster again! Close to the main falls is The Bridal Veil Falls – so far on this trip we have seen squillions of Bridal Veil Falls, which seems to be the default option for Official Namers of Things who lack imagination.

Despite a reputation for surly Frenchness, the Quebecois that we encountered were very friendly and more than willing to interact in English. Perhaps the torture of listening to our mangled French (with some Spanish thrown in just to confuse things) was too much to bear so they gave in without a struggle.

Just 4 more days of French Canada in Montreal to go – we should be fluent by then….???