Fasten your seatbelts, it’s the All American Road Trip!

This is a big one, so you might want to make a cuppa first.

Leaving the Grand Tetons, we travelled east towards the Wild West. After crossing the Continental Divide for the 4^th time in 2 days, we mysteriously entered a portal transporting us into Arizona, or so it would appear. It was really weird going from alpine meadows into Grand Canyon-like terrain with no warning. The portal centre was the town of Dubois, which was full of Big Things such as the Big Elk and the main attraction, The Big Jackalope. Mike took the opportunity to have a ride. The Jackalope, according to local knowledge, is a cross between an extinct pygmy deer and a species of killer rabbit. You can get a hunting licence which is only valid for June 31^st, and only if you have an IQ less than 72.   

What happened to the alpine meadows?

Yeehah Cowboy

We continued across the plains of Wyoming, miles and miles of sparseness and oil derricks. We passed through a town which boasted that it was the “Home of Oiler Pride”. Nice. Our destination for the evening was Casper, Wyoming which by all appearances was a roughneck cowboy and oil town. We found its soft and caring underbelly as we wandered the nearly deserted streets. We came across special park benches accessible for the seating-challenged cowboy, and a horse fitted with leg-warmers, essential for this mountain location. There is WiFi access so that cowboys can text while riding. We thought we would be restricted to yet more steak / burgers, but no (Hallelujah!!), Casper provided us with the best meal we have had in 3 months – at a Thai restaurant of all places.

Park bench for cowboys

Park bench for normal people

Don't text while riding

Next destination was the Devil’s Tower, featured in the movie “Close Encounters of the Third Kind”, for those of you old enough to remember. It’s quite extraordinary, sticking up like a sore thumb. We took a walk around the base, interesting to see how it changes from different angles. It seemed to have a special force-field that attracted a lot of bikers, most particularly elderly bald men with silly little ponytails (oh for a pair of shears!), muscle shirts and their leather vests stretched to breaking point over their guts.

Close to the tower is a very large “Prairie Dog Town”, with many very cute inhabitants. We met the Sheriff of Prairie Dog Town, who gave Mike a long lecture of squeaks and whistles. In a surprisingly Ninja Moment, Sheriff let out a big squeak and leapt into the air. Not sure what that was about really, maybe he was just overjoyed to see us. Or constipated. He let us take his photo.

With such short arms, its difficult to get the quick draw

Moving right along, we visited the Geographical Centre of the Nation at Belle Fourche. We told them about the Centre of the Universe being in Wallace Idaho, but they didn’t believe us.

We drove through the Black Hills of South Dakota to the Very Wild West Town of Deadwood, home of Calamity Jane, Wild Bill Hickok, Preacher Smith and Potato Creek Johnny. They would be proud that the town has kept up its tacky reputation. We visited the cemetery and the graves of Jane and Bill. There was a fascinating list of causes of death from that era which included the usual shootings and animal mishaps, a cause listed as “God Knows”, and another as “a Broken Hump Bone”. But take a moment of silence to think about poor John Crummins whose cause of death was listed as “14 Hard Boiled Eggs”.  Possibly shell-shock?  I’m not yolking.

Wild Bill's grave next to Calamity Jane.

Next stop was Mt Rushmore, a site of American Pilgrimage. Timing our visit just before 4^th July in school holidays was probably not so wise on account of the Pilgrims, but couldn’t be helped. Small children were losing the plot left, right and centre. Mt Rushmore is very impressive, and it is really amazing to hear the stories of the men who built it. Initially the plan was conceived in an attempt to improve the South Dakotan economy by attracting tourists and getting them to empty their wallets. The initial proposal was Wild West Heroes (Jane and Bill again). The sculptor decided to try to bring some meaning to the project by insisting on American Presidents. But the idea to make money is still going strong - you should just see the tacky souvenirs you can buy!  Another interesting thing is that you can buy ice-cream made from Thomas Jefferson’s own recipe. TJ penned the American Constitution and an Ice-cream recipe – both documents have been instrumental in shaping America, the latter quite literally.

Down the road is Crazy Horse, the Native American answer to Mt Rushmore with an enormous carving of the warrior Crazy Horse, sitting on his horse. The carving started in 1948 and the only thing that is finished is Crazy Horse’s face. They have a long, long way to go.

A highlight of any American Road Trip is a visit to Wall Drug. This was started as a Pharmacy in 1931 in the tiny town of Wall, South Dakota. As a means to get people to stop they started offering free iced water. From these humble beginnings developed a gloriously tacky tourist trap which takes up almost 2 blocks, with souvenir shops, fast food, singing racoons, a bellowing T-Rex, a piano-playing gorilla, cowboy boot shops, a gold mine and lots more. Mike indulged his new hobby of Jackalope riding. Oh, and somewhere in there is a small pharmacy. My word, the excitement.

Just remember this is a pharmacy.

This is a pharmacy right?

Are you sure this is a pharmacy?

We stopped in at the South Dakota Air and Space Museum, which was more interesting for one of us than the other. There were displays about the Minuteman Missile program - Sth Dakota is full of missile silos so they can fire on the Russians (or anyone else) as needed.

A short trip through the South Dakota Badlands took us on our way back to our lodgings in Keystone. 

I looked for the police station in Keystone, so I could get a photo of the Keystone Cops, but there is only a Pennington County Sheriff so that was no good. We had our worst meal of the trip in Keystone, being boiled salmon with overdone broccoli, left in the bain-marie to dry out and cool down. Bewdiful.

Saw a sign for “Nature in Action Taxidermy”. Perhaps nature would demonstrate more action if it wasn’t stuffed.

A final word from Wyoming: Never trust cheese that comes out of a tap.